apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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