hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
