love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
