Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
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