Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
