So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
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