i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I am naked and annoyed.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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