Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
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