I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Randomize
