physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
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