Dangr zzzzzzzzone
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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