I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
