i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
