STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Ambien. No doubt about it.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
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