I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
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