that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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