her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
Randomize
