3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
