Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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