so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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