you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
