Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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