He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
he shaved USA in his pubs
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Randomize
