Walk of Shame. In a state park.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
