I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
