yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Randomize
