She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
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