We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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