I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Randomize
