How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
