u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
