Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
