Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Randomize
