i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
In America we eat man semen.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Randomize
