im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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