i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
