i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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