there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
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