do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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