First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
God gave him joint rollers for hands
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
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