Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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