hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
im six kinds of drunk right now
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
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