In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Randomize
