What a fucking waste of an outfit
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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