i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Randomize
