Fuck appropriateness.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize
