I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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