i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
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