go do what you do best...puke behind churches
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
