there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
