If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
