69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize
