Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
