Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Randomize
